Phase #1 – Anger, Frustration & Stress
(note: skip this if you don’t wanna “listen” to Me basically whining about it)
The New Year hasn’t been a great one for me. Am getting increasingly jaded at work, the relationship with my partner is fading (though we are both still trying)… as a result I am struggling with my fluctuating emotions and feeling unmotivated most of the time. I don’t deny that these issues have existed prior 2015. What is different now is that, due to a pinkie toe fracture sustained during the Chinese New Year period (my foot slipped @ a waterfall), I have lost my main escape route. Running.
For the past few months, Running was my main tool of dealing with stress. Running gave me the endorphins I needed to keep my mood lifted enough so that I don’t spiral into depression. Not only has that been taken away from me, additional stress is incurred when I think about the $$ that went to waste, paying for the fees of the running events that I no longer can attend. 3 runs this month: the Northeast Compressport 10k, the Running Hour 2015 (blindfold category) and the one I was looking forward to PB in – the 2XU Half Marathon.
Not to mention, my Marathon Training Plan was scheduled to be implemented last Monday. I’m possibly out for the next 6-8 weeks. That would allow me only 2 months for conditioning before my 1st ever FM. *sigh* Furthermore, doc recommends that I should not engage in activities that would put increased pressure on my toe… that includes spin classes – there goes my training for CycleAsia (a month from now).
I too am angry. I’m in fact pissed off with myself that I didn’t get an x-ray done sooner. This is how my toe looked on the unfortunate day…
Thinking that it was not too big of a deal as though I had difficulty walking, I wasn’t exactly in excruciating pain, I visited a TCM clinic Ma Kuang ray. It was a crack (not even a hairline fracture) sustained below my toenail, with part of my toenail affected too.
If I had known it was a facture to begin with, I wouldn’t have attended the Venus Run! 5k I jogged, despite my injury. Ended up with the worst 5k timing I ever had, but that ain’t the point.
Yeah yeah, I was an idiot.
Phase #2 – Acceptance
It took me a couple of days, a few self-reminders of the Serenity prayer (no am not religious), and then words from a friend – basically telling me that he wouldn’t get upset if there are things he wanna do but can’t… he would accept the situation & make the best of it – to accept my situation, albeit grudgingly. Don’t get me wrong, am still annoyed. I’ve got my weekends planned with stuff I wanna do but now my schedule is a blank the next month. *sigh* That makes me edgy but… gotta move on.
Phase #3 – Alternatives
Now that my evenings and weekends are freed up, I’ll have extra Time that I can do anything (else) I want with – catching up on games, cross-stitch, movies, drama series, read… etc. I have a plethora of hobbies that have been placed on the backburner cos I’d rather head outdoors for some sports, go to the gym… etc. Guess it’s the perfect chance to indulge in something else without feeling the guilt that I should be training!
That being said, I have much to train for. The Cycle Asia 59km in April, a Bintan cycling trip in May, the Phuket Half Marathon in June, the Gold Coast Marathon in July and of cos OCBC Cycle + the Sprint Triathlon in August. Yep, I’ve set much goals for 2015 and I fully intend to smash them one after another o(^_^)b
I tried cycling (mid-effort) from East Coast to Changi for dinner, twice during the last 7 days. While I don’t deny that I did experience jolts of pain during the bike trips, especially when my roadie goes over bumps, my toe doesn’t seem to be any worse for wear. Well… nothing worse than from the amount of walking during a regular work day, that is. And of cos, am basing my opinion on the pain I feel/don’t feel and how the toe actually looks.
My follow-up x-ray is scheduled on April 8, so it’ll only be then that I will know whether I’ve done more damage to it and/or how it is healing up.
Swimming is another alternative am looking at. It is actually the only cardio that the doc gave a green light for (cycling was a “maybe”). Went on Monday, felt a little pressure on the toe as I go thru’ the strokes, but again, it doesn’t look any worse. Might wanna increase the frequency of my weekly swim to bi-weekly.
While neither cycling nor swimming is a substitute for running, I guess that’s the best I can do at this moment. Gym membership with True Fitness has been suspended for 2 months so spin is out of the question till May. My Amore Fitness membership (yes, am subbed to 2 gyms, long story – will relate another time, perhaps) is still alive till end-April though, so I suppose I’ll still be going to use the upper body weight machines + attend stretch classes now and then! Maybe Pilates too. Yoga is discouraged due to various poses putting additional strain on the toe.
Dumbbells and body weight exercises (ie. planks, squats) will be done at home, while watching drama eps. This one I need a kick in the arse to maintain momentum haha ~
Phase #4 – Recovery
I can’t be sure at the moment, but this is what I HOPE is happening. LOL. Wish me luck!!