Sometime in 2014, I hopped on the #100happydays (The 100 Happy Days Challenge) bandwagon to see how long I could sustain a “project” of that magnitude – 100 days of posting photos is a pretty big commitment. I was also secretly hoping that during the process, I’ll somehow experience an attitude makeover, and actually learn to be Happy. You know… all that talk about how Happiness is a choice?
I made it till Day 48, and then I gave up.
Okay, don’t get me wrong, this ain’t gonna be one of those posts bashing the challenge & bashing the peeps who undertake it. No kidding, I did a quick Google earlier and ended up scanning thru’ articles with much negativity – mostly accusing the people who take part in it for being narcissistic and smug (social media is narcissism… duh), and how it seems to be rubbing personal accomplishments in the faces of others who aren’t that fortunate. While I can see why the writers feel that way, writing a hate post about it is just Grinch-like behavior.
Anyway, here is a throwback to a few of my uploads then. I chose to share my photos on Facebook instead of keeping it private. I needed the motivation. Posting stuff on FB keeps me accountable – the thought that someone might actually care, kept me going.
While the Challenge served as a reminder to count my blessings, and while it did make me slow down a little and be more aware of everything instead of just the negatives, it did NOT turn me into Mr. Happy. I am still the cynical, cranky, easily irritable pessimist I was before.
Honestly? The experiment was a pain. It was difficult to find something new each day to avoid posting the same too often. After some time, it actually started to become kinda counterproductive – the pressure to find something Happy each day made Happiness a chore… it made Happiness seem forced.
It was then I realized… it’s actually OK to be so-so, and it’s OK to be unhappy. It’s OK to be the generally moody Me, cos despite being so, there still is much “good” in my Life daily.
THAT is something that I failed to see prior. I had always thought that the ideal is to be Happy. Like always. No thanks to (silly) self-help articles that advise the shunning of “negative emotions”. Nah. That very thought that I need to fix myself is one of the factors that I causing me much angst & unhappiness. Eradicating that thought removed some of the anger I feel.
In a nutshell, did it work on me? Not in a drastic way, but there has been a change. I am now more appreciative of the things that I have been taking for granted. Plus yeah, no thing is too small \(^_^)/
Hence, earlier today, I’ve decided to start a new Facebook album. #LifeIsSuch. It will contain snapshots of moments that I’ve remembered to stop and appreciate. This time it’s OTOT. I can post whatever I want, even if it’s the same thing (ie. breakfast) daily. I can post whenever I want, I don’t have to do it daily. And most importantly… I don’t have a ‘100 day quota’ to fulfill anymore.
I’m doing this in the hopes that I’ll have something to look back upon on the days that don’t feel so good. I’m doing this because I need it. My mood yo-yos into the depressive state too often to be comfortable these days. I am hoping this new project will fix that… at the very least, it should provide a temporary distraction.
While the album is set to ‘Friends Only’, I will periodically post updates here too. Why? For additional motivation of course! Mhmmm… and maybe… maybe somehow… some other person out there will be inspired to do it too.
Here is yesterday’s (uploaded earlier this morning)…